Run Lauren Run

Starting something new can feel great. If you are anything like me, you get a burst of energy and excitement from dreaming up new goals and then beginning them. That's how it was when I began marathon training. I was excited. I looked forward to waking up early for runs. I was pumped up when I ran my first long run of 6 miles. My body was still relatively comfortable during runs and I was free of aches and pains. I really didn't need to do much of a warm up or cool down, since my distances were short. But then, about two weeks ago, I left the beginning and entered into the middle of my training. My runs were getting longer and my knees were getting sorer. I was finally forced to take the time to stretch after a work out. And we're not just talking about a quick 5 minute cool down, but like 20 minute routines. I've also had to foam roll regularly. Foam rolling is basically inflicting pain on yourself in order to break up the muscles and get them ready to perform ...

Yes, Chumbuwumba was right. I definitely got knocked down today, but yes, I got up again. An uneven sidewalk is never gonna keep me down. Ahhh, one hit wonders of the early 2000's. Today's run started off well. I had my new shoes on, the weather was a balmy 53 degrees; which honestly feels incredible compared to the 20 I am used to (seriously, who am I?). And then I started actually running. And it felt terrible. Moving my legs felt like such work, and everything in me said, stop, just walk, you are too tired. Then, about 1.5 miles in, it happened. My toe caught a piece of uneven sidewalk and I fell. Straight up (or down I suppose), on my hands and knees. Luckily there was no one around to catch my embarrassment and other than a scrapped knee and ripped leggings, I was left unscathed. But I still had another 1.5 miles to go. And it was hard. Funny that my Tuesday morning 3 mile run is actually the hardest one of the week. Partly because I've had a couple day...

75 After today, I will have run 75 miles since I began my training about 4 weeks ago. 75 miles. That's practically the distance from San Diego to Orange County. When I sit back and think about those miles, I can't help but feel proud. I'm doing it. I'm waking up at 5:15 in the morning to get outside each day in the freezing cold and run. Every time my alarm has gone off, I have pushed through the temptation to hit snooze or skip altogether and gotten myself out of bed and into my running clothes. And while I should feel proud, every now and then a bit of doubt creeps into my head. Thoughts of, "it's not good enough." "It's really not that big of a deal." "You should be doing more." "You should have lost more weight, or have more toned legs by now." "But remember when you ate all of those cookies in the teacher's lounge yesterday?" What the crap?! Why is it do damn hard to accept and celebra...

I've been listening to the Invisibilia Podcast from NPR lately and I love it. In it, the two hosts discuss and investigate invisible things that affect us. Things like emotions, thoughts, beliefs, reality, etc. I find it fascinating. The interviews, the research, the relaxed and chill way the hosts talk with each other, like you are listening to a friend over coffee on the weekend. Today, on my drive to work I finished up an episode on fear. Where it comes from, why we feel it and how to overcome it. I've dealt with fear my whole life... the fear of rejection, the fear of loosing those I love, the fear of not being accepted or liked. The fear in my head is real. I know that, however, the logical part of my brain says, "Lauren, first of all, no one is dying. Second, who the fuck cares if someone doesn't like you? Not everyone is going to like you." And yet, the fear remains in the back of my brain, pushing me to be agreeable with all I meet, never qui...

It's week 3 people! Week 3 and still going strong, although I will admit, the newness and excitement is wearing off. I ran 7 miles last Saturday, which is officially the farthest I have ever run. I realize that for seasoned runners, this may not seem like a large feet, but to me, it feels amazing. I kept an easy pace and found myself feeling good throughout. This week my long run is only 5 miles, so I should be good to go. About my weekday morning runs though..... IT IS SO DAMN COLD!!!!!! As if getting out of bed at 5:15 to run wasn't hard enough, add in 20 degree temps and wind chill and it feels like I'm going to battle. Which, honestly, it sometimes feels like this whole training thing is. The last couple of days I have had the thought, "why the heck am I doing this?" I could just stop. Stop and no one would care. Life would be normal, nothing crazy. I'd still be healthy and in shape. But then I had to remind myself that being healthy an...

One week down... 17 more to go. My first week of training was good. It was cold, but good. Even though it was early, I was excited to get up for my short runs during the week and was actually looked forward to my long run on Saturday. But then, as I ran the last stretch of my 6 mile run Saturday, this pesky thought popped into my head. "This should be more; more miles. This should be easier." I have been watching YouTube videos lately of runners talking about their experience running a marathon and over and over they say that the first 8 miles are the easiest (they say this about the actual marathon, that they have already trained for). And then, just like that, I'm dissatisfied with that I've done. I quickly ignored my progress that first week and jump to disappointment that it wasn't more. But I will get there. Not only will I get to 8 miles, but I will pass it and eventually be running 20. It just takes time and dare I say, patience. Turns out I...