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Think Less, Notice More



I've been listening to the Invisibilia Podcast from NPR lately and I love it. In it, the two hosts discuss and investigate invisible things that affect us. Things like emotions, thoughts, beliefs, reality, etc.

I find it fascinating. The interviews, the research, the relaxed and chill way the hosts talk with each other, like you are listening to a friend over coffee on the weekend.

Today, on my drive to work I finished up an episode on fear. Where it comes from, why we feel it and how to overcome it.

I've dealt with fear my whole life... the fear of rejection, the fear of loosing those I love, the fear of not being accepted or liked.

The fear in my head is real. I know that, however, the logical part of my brain says, "Lauren, first of all, no one is dying. Second, who the fuck cares if someone doesn't like you? Not everyone is going to like you."

And yet, the fear remains in the back of my brain, pushing me to be agreeable with all I meet, never quite being my full self, always holding back, consistently analyzing my actions and words and those of others.

It kind of sucks.

But back to today's podcast. At the end of it, one of the hosts said she had a formula, given to her by a psychologist, on how to get rid of fear.

Um, OK, I'll take it. What is it???

Here it is:

FEAR=TIME+THOUGHTS

Get rid of one of those two things (time or thoughts) and the fear goes away.

That's it.

Either you don't let those fearful thoughts enter your head, or when they do, don't give them any time to fester or sit.

So how the hell does all of this relate to running? When I run, I never think about much.

Well, let me rephrase that... when I run, all I think about is my body, the weather and the environment surrounding me.

And those thoughts are just so damn simple, and yet, they are so damn peaceful.

I think about my pace and my breathe, matching each stride and the pounding of my feet on the pavement to the breathes that I take, until a very easy rhythm starts to flow.

I feel the freezing cold wind hitting my face, the coolness of my lips, the heat under my nose from each exhale.

I feel my legs moving, pushing forward, sometimes aching, reminding me that they are still getting used to this whole running for long distances thing.

And finally, after I start to slow down and walk back to my front door, I think about the sweat forming on my forehead, seeping into my hairline.

It seems like when I run, my thoughts get replaced with noticing. Noticing the present moment that I am in. Noticing the tree branches I pass by and the patches of ice on the ground that I carefully step around.

And that's it. There are no thoughts about how I look, how others may think I am doing, whether or not I am good enough. I truly don't give a fuck about those things. It's as if my logical brain is finally coming through. I am feeling what it actually feels like to be fully me, 100% in the moment.

And it is awesome. So, if nothing else, this journey, these miles I have run and will continue to run are teaching me something about my fear; about how easy it is to let it go, if we just try, and practice, and keep trying.

I'm learning that I need to think less and notice more.

I am hoping that these lessons running is teaching me will start to seep over into my everyday life; my work life, my home life, my friend life.

Because how freaking awesome would it be to feel fearless.

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