Run Lauren Run

Yes, Chumbuwumba was right. I definitely got knocked down today, but yes, I got up again. An uneven sidewalk is never gonna keep me down. Ahhh, one hit wonders of the early 2000's. Today's run started off well. I had my new shoes on, the weather was a balmy 53 degrees; which honestly feels incredible compared to the 20 I am used to (seriously, who am I?). And then I started actually running. And it felt terrible. Moving my legs felt like such work, and everything in me said, stop, just walk, you are too tired. Then, about 1.5 miles in, it happened. My toe caught a piece of uneven sidewalk and I fell. Straight up (or down I suppose), on my hands and knees. Luckily there was no one around to catch my embarrassment and other than a scrapped knee and ripped leggings, I was left unscathed. But I still had another 1.5 miles to go. And it was hard. Funny that my Tuesday morning 3 mile run is actually the hardest one of the week. Partly because I've had a couple day...

75 After today, I will have run 75 miles since I began my training about 4 weeks ago. 75 miles. That's practically the distance from San Diego to Orange County. When I sit back and think about those miles, I can't help but feel proud. I'm doing it. I'm waking up at 5:15 in the morning to get outside each day in the freezing cold and run. Every time my alarm has gone off, I have pushed through the temptation to hit snooze or skip altogether and gotten myself out of bed and into my running clothes. And while I should feel proud, every now and then a bit of doubt creeps into my head. Thoughts of, "it's not good enough." "It's really not that big of a deal." "You should be doing more." "You should have lost more weight, or have more toned legs by now." "But remember when you ate all of those cookies in the teacher's lounge yesterday?" What the crap?! Why is it do damn hard to accept and celebra...

I've been listening to the Invisibilia Podcast from NPR lately and I love it. In it, the two hosts discuss and investigate invisible things that affect us. Things like emotions, thoughts, beliefs, reality, etc. I find it fascinating. The interviews, the research, the relaxed and chill way the hosts talk with each other, like you are listening to a friend over coffee on the weekend. Today, on my drive to work I finished up an episode on fear. Where it comes from, why we feel it and how to overcome it. I've dealt with fear my whole life... the fear of rejection, the fear of loosing those I love, the fear of not being accepted or liked. The fear in my head is real. I know that, however, the logical part of my brain says, "Lauren, first of all, no one is dying. Second, who the fuck cares if someone doesn't like you? Not everyone is going to like you." And yet, the fear remains in the back of my brain, pushing me to be agreeable with all I meet, never qui...

It's week 3 people! Week 3 and still going strong, although I will admit, the newness and excitement is wearing off. I ran 7 miles last Saturday, which is officially the farthest I have ever run. I realize that for seasoned runners, this may not seem like a large feet, but to me, it feels amazing. I kept an easy pace and found myself feeling good throughout. This week my long run is only 5 miles, so I should be good to go. About my weekday morning runs though..... IT IS SO DAMN COLD!!!!!! As if getting out of bed at 5:15 to run wasn't hard enough, add in 20 degree temps and wind chill and it feels like I'm going to battle. Which, honestly, it sometimes feels like this whole training thing is. The last couple of days I have had the thought, "why the heck am I doing this?" I could just stop. Stop and no one would care. Life would be normal, nothing crazy. I'd still be healthy and in shape. But then I had to remind myself that being healthy an...